I had a pretty brutal realization the other day. Even though last August I was without my best friend, this is the first full summer that she's not in NYC. And it's really hard.
It sucks.
When you live with someone for seven years and share a lot of common friends and interests, you have this safety net. You've automatically got this person who can count on all the time. Whether it's to read a freelance article you're working on and critique it honestly, to give you dating advice, or even just to accompany you to a party.
You're almost like a couple, and there's this give and take. I go the Sleater-Kinney show no one else will go to with you; you come see Stephen Malkmus with me. You're dating a new guy and you want me to hang out? Sure, but please come with me to this party where this cute guy is going to be.
It works out pretty well.
I'm used to being part of a dynamic duo, but for the past year, I've been pretty much a solo act.
Now besides best friend moving away, last summer was also notable in that another one of my close girlfriends had moved away in the spring, and that I got into a huge fight with another friend (over a guy) and we stopped hanging out.
As a result, I've pretty much hung out with my guy friends and their girlfriends. And my neighborhood girlfriends. All of them are nice and fun to hang out with.
But they're definitely different kinds of relationships. There's no dependability. For instance, when I was into Coffee Guy, there were occasions when I would literally BEG all my girlfriends to come to this weekly party his friends threw--because aside from him, I didn't really know anyone, and would feel awkward showing up alone.
Not a single person could spare an hour from their schedule to come with me. Not once.
Wake-up call.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not the kind of girl who can't be alone. I love my "me" time, and I love being in my apartment by myself, reading a magazine or listening to records. I am comfortable going to a restaurant, bar, and movie solo.
It's just that sometimes, you would like to be able to count on a good girlfriend.